His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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