I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
