Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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