You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
