How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
