my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
