if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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