Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I just had sex on a roof
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
