ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
