Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
