the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
