go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Randomize
