So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Randomize
