my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
