Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
