Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
