dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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