You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
