on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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