just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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