bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
