No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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