That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
i think i just lost a toe
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
