I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
