They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
