Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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