I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
