I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
