No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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