can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
she told me i tasted like america
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
