friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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