party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
