after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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