Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
