AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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