oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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