At least make sure they are 18
Why
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
