he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
