Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
this beer tastes like vomit already
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
