I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
