Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
