Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
