could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
