If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
im drinking this country out of the recession.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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