i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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