if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
