He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
