Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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