my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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