In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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