There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
